On the morning of June 4th I found myself waiting in the Home Depot parking lot to meet up with 6 other participants that were from the area to make the 3 1/2 hour drive to Challis, ID in 2 vehicles instead of 7. I got there pretty early and found myself with some time to kill. I’m not going to lie, I was really nervous, yet very excited all at the same time. I knew the next couple of days were going to be intense. I had heard from a previous participant that fly fishing lessons would only be a fraction of what I would be taking away from the experience. I was in for an emotionally deep experience and my heart raced in anticipation.
Casting for Recovery is a non-profit that puts together retreats all over the US for breast cancer survivors. In a weekends time they give 14 lucky women who are chosen by a lottery draw, a crash course on the ins and outs of fly fishing. Why fly fishing? Well that’s simple… the motion used while casting mimics the physical therapy exercises many survivors are given after surgery.
The ride up was a lot of fun. In my car rode myself, Cat, Charley, and Melissa while Lisa, Becky, and Julie followed in Lisa’s car. What a fun ride. These ladies were an absolute riot! We didn’t waist any time and dove right into some pretty deep conversation. I found myself going from incredibly nervous to feeling completely accepted and understood and that 3 1/2 hour drive flew by!
The ranch that hosted the retreat is called Living Waters Ranch and it’s about 4 miles outside of the small town of Challis on 90 acres of breathtaking property. It’s located in a canyon and you are literally surrounded by mountains. It’s probably one of the most tranquil places I’ve ever been and the few moments I had alone to take it all in, I never in my life felt closer to God.
The rest of the weekend was filled with great conversations, yoga, casting and bug lessons, fly tying, fabulous meals, nature walks, and an evening of heartfelt, deep, and emotional conversation that took us from new friends with at least one thing in common to a sisterhood like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life. The only word I can think of to explain the mood is raw. We shared our deepest fears, struggles, complications, and our worries of uncertain futures. Some of the things shared have never been spoken out loud until that night. I don’t think I have cried that much for not only myself, but for the pain of others, ever. The most comforting thing about the evening was that not once did any of us have to explain ourselves. Not once. Everyone there understood and we didn’t have to feel bad for feeling that way and we weren’t ridiculed by someone who could never understand even if they wanted to. It was a beautiful thing. It was very, very liberating. I felt as if an invisible weight I had been holding on my shoulders was finally released. I felt understood for the first time in a year. I felt free.
By the time Sunday morning arrived I woke with a bittersweet taste in my mouth. I was excited to get home to see Brock and Morgan (I really missed them), but I was also scared to get back into the hustle and bustle of everyday life and I wasn’t ready for the weekend to end. I had learned and grown so much in those short few days that I was afraid that once I got back into my every day groove I would forget about those lessons and lose touch with the things that while away from distractions, were really important to me. Plus, lets face it, I was surrounded by women who understood me. Women who accepted me. The real me. The new me. The damaged me. The me that has only opened up to them on that level about a disease that has consumed my life for the last year.
The ride home didn’t go nearly as quickly as the ride there, but the conversation was great. The first week home was kind of hard for me. I was a homebody and felt like keeping to myself. My outgoing drive was stalled and I couldn’t get it out of park. Luckily for me, Melissa and Lisa were feeling sort of the same way so they coordinated a dinner date and it was exactly what I needed. Since then I’ve seen a lot of the girls on more than one occasion. It’s very comforting to know that although we’re taken out of our sheltered atmosphere and thrown back into every day life, we still have each other and that I am grateful for!
So ladies… thank you so much for such an amazing experience. More than anything though, thanks for allowing me to be a part of this unique sisterhood. You girls are not friends… you’re family.
I love you all!
I loved looking through all of these. What a great experience. I’m so glad you were able to go. Something that nobody will ever be able to take away.
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